Control

It's easier to control the intake of food than to control my temper and feelings like embarrassment, jealousy and feeling hurt. Before, I did not trust my ability to have control over my emotions in public and haven't accepted them either, so to starve the power in them away has made it easier. I have increased the accept for both my temper and emotions as I have grown and I feel I have more control because of that. Like I can feel jealousy, but I can understand it and then stop feeling it, because it's not useful for much else than to be recognized and understood. Sometimes I can't help but cry or lose my temper, but I am not ashamed of that anymore. I'm not proud of it either, of course, but I accept that it happens, because I can't control it.

Now the worst is when someone wants to control me or my life. To feel powerless. That is the worst. Then I want to do something, but if there is nothing I can do to change it, then it is a comfort to control my body at least.