22. juni 2016

The food is changing me

This was my main new thought and step forward yesterday: I see the fun in being chubby and fat now. Fat is so much more charming than the ideal skinny body. Skinny bodies are often less alive because they are malnutrioned. I thought about it a lot yesterday. How cool it is with big ladies with colourful badingsuits and curly hair. To be big and bold, outspoken and noticed for being someone to reckon with. I could be a person like that.

Today I experienced being in such a good mood. Even better than yesterday when I sang a lot even though the four neighbours probably could hear it. Today I felt the need for cuddling my cat. That is the first time I have felt that with a cat since I was a child. I pet my cat because it needs it. I do it as a service. The same with my son. I know he needs it. Because I don't need it I tend to forget, so I have told him he must go and get it when he needs it. Now I'm changing. I am starting to be more responsive for cuddling.

There is no doubt I have EH. I soon eat the triple of my minimum. If I didn't read about others eating up to 10000 calories a day I would be in a bad mood now, worried and scared. My calorie intake has been gradually increasing from day one. I have been managing to eat a little more to every meal day to day and then oe day I ate an extra meal. That made the trick. Wonder if this EH will go back gradually too. I guess I have to wait and see. I don't have much stomach pain. I thought I would have with so much food coming in. Actually the food is very calorie dense it is not many grams all together.

I can only guess my weight gain now after 4 weeks: 12 kilos. BUT some is water, so....???

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