What you can expect in recovery from an eating disorder

People who recover from an eating disorder may soon go back to old habits unless they get knowledge about what to expect in the recovery process. Many are surprised that they get less energy instead of more when they eat more. They don't understand that the body wants to rest to be able to heal the damage the body hasn't been able to heal the time it did not get enough energy for the job. They don't even think damage has been done. In the beginning of the healing process many experience edema. Many freak out and think they rapidly gain fat, but that is not possible. Read about edema here:https://www.acute.org/blog/edema-eating-disorder-recovery-causes-prevention-and-treatment

Many also get surprised when they get extreme hunger and can eat ten thousand calories in a day, forgetting the body has been starved and need extra food. When this happens many are afraid they have just switched from anorexia to binge eating disorder and are not getting well at all, but this is a misunderstanding. A restrictive person do not become a binge eater. The extreme hunger will only last until the body has got the energy it needs to heal from starvation. Do not stop eating a lot just because you think you have reached a high enough weight. It is up to the body to decide when you have gained enough. After a period of extreme hunger the hunger will normalize and the weight gain will stop.

At this point it is important to continue eating enough food. Read the recommended amounts at the ED institute https://edinstitute.org/blog/2011/9/14/i-need-how-many-calories. Don't compare your own food intake with others, but eat when hungry till you are satisfied all day every day. Respect the bodys signals and eat. You need a lot of food. Do not trust a calculator online to tell you how many calories your body needs. The body will tell you that more precisely. 

Do not restrict even the slightest to lose weight or you may very soon go back to restricting more and more. No more restriction! No more starving! If you overshot your set point weight you will lose excess water and fat naturally if you continue eating enough and avoid purging and exercising. The body needs the food and weight gain to rebuild the muscle mass and heal the metabolism. You don't need to do strength training to rebuild the muscles, you need enough food and rest. The body gain water first, then fat, then muscle mass. So be patient.

To weigh yourself, track calories, look in the mirror and wear tight clothes can all make it harder to recover.

The food is changing me

This was my main new thought and step forward yesterday: I see the fun in being chubby and fat now. Fat is so much more charming than the ideal skinny body. Skinny bodies are often less alive because they are malnutrioned. I thought about it a lot yesterday. How cool it is with big ladies with colourful badingsuits and curly hair. To be big and bold, outspoken and noticed for being someone to reckon with. I could be a person like that.

Today I experienced being in such a good mood. Even better than yesterday when I sang a lot even though the four neighbours probably could hear it. Today I felt the need for cuddling my cat. That is the first time I have felt that with a cat since I was a child. I pet my cat because it needs it. I do it as a service. The same with my son. I know he needs it. Because I don't need it I tend to forget, so I have told him he must go and get it when he needs it. Now I'm changing. I am starting to be more responsive for cuddling.

There is no doubt I have EH. I soon eat the triple of my minimum. If I didn't read about others eating up to 10000 calories a day I would be in a bad mood now, worried and scared. My calorie intake has been gradually increasing from day one. I have been managing to eat a little more to every meal day to day and then oe day I ate an extra meal. That made the trick. Wonder if this EH will go back gradually too. I guess I have to wait and see. I don't have much stomach pain. I thought I would have with so much food coming in. Actually the food is very calorie dense it is not many grams all together.

I can only guess my weight gain now after 4 weeks: 12 kilos. BUT some is water, so....???

Extreme hunger in brain or body.

I think I have trouble sleeping because it is so hot outside during the night. Perhaps not. Perhaps that is just an excuse, cause last night the reason why I didn't fall asleep was that I was thinking, planning on what new to eat the next days! It was like EH (mania) in my brain, not the rest of my body. I, no my brain, was afraid I would get bored of the food and not be able to eat enough so it was trying to figure out I could eat! Ha ha! Wish I could talk to an intelligent part of my body and assure it I will continue eating a lot every day. Relax!

I have a theory but the only experience is my own so I'd love to hear your experiences.
The theory is that EH comes when you have restricted very much, eaten almost nothing (300-500 cal. a day for example) for a long time. I had EH after eating like that when I was 18/19 years old, but now that I had eaten 1500 a day for many years before going into full recovery and eating the double I do not experience EH. I'm very hungry and have a huge appetite, but I have not been so hungry that I have mecanically eaten a huge amount more than 3000 cal. and out of control. Do you have the same experience or is the theory only for my body?

The supporters challange

I have been thinking about non-ED people who can't seem to grasp why we need more food than normal amounts. I think some may be horrified to see we are out of control. It scares them and reminds them of how powerless we all really are. The fear hinder them from thinking anything new. They get tunnell vision. The body is acting like an animal. Scary to watch when it's a new experience. I was scared when I experienced EH when I had never heard about it or anything recovery related when I was 19. I thought I acted like crazy, but I just had to join the ride. There was no other option. I have experienced this kind of powerlessness many times after that when I was overwhelmed by strong emotions. I tried to hold them back, but then I just got anxiety. Power, pure power, is beyond our control. That is the forces of nature and the spiritual realm.

Of course it is other reasons why people can't grasp why we need so much. They just haven't heard about it before and if they don't believe you it may be because they don't trust that you know what you are talking about. I mean, young and all. I don't give up trying to convince somebody. I'm stubborn and explain things untill they believe me. I'm pretty intense so they can't escape:)

I'm finished preparing and are taking the jump tomorrow.

My goal now is body healing and reaching it's set point weight. That means I'm ditching the other plan I had.  Tomorrow I jump up 180 calories to 1700 calories from 1520 this week. After three or so days I'll jump further to 1900 calories, after another 3 days if I'm hungry for more I'll jump to 2100 and after another three days I'll jump to 2300. I'm thinking I may need more time than three days to be hungry for more, but the opposite can happen as well, and my body may be ready to jump after only two days. I will find the best solution for my body, and will not force it to eat like I forced it to starve.

One motivating factor is reading recipes and thinking I can allow myself to eat all that. That gives me joy and a feeling of freedom. I have solved my clothing problem so that is no longer holding me back from jumping to reach my goal, or my body's goal, more precisely. See, I refuse to dress womanly and with curves I see that as a threat to my body image. I like teen boys wear and mens wear. I started dressing with ties and mens jackets when I was 16, and I have never liked much of womens wear. I do like some, though, but it can easily be combined with mens wear.

Only thing I'm not sure about yet is if I am going to follow a meal plan or let my self give in to extreme hunger if that arrives. I have been wondering what the result of giving in to EH compared to not giving into it will be. I haven't found so much info about it. Just that some who doesn't give into it may think they are recovered before they really are. I don't want that of course. I want full recovery and stay there. I am not afraid of EH, because I have experienced it many years ago, but I would prefer avoiding it because I don't think I can afford to buy a huge amount of food at the moment.

So I wonder if it is possible to get a healthy recovery without giving in to it. I would rather eat a few hundred calories more than minimum daily than eating a lot the first days of the month and end up with no money for food at the end of the month. Will I overshoot more if I don't give into it and use very much more time to get well without extreme eating? I do not want to worry about not having enough money for food either. That is stressful.

So untill more money is coming in I think eating according to a meal plan and counting calories to make sure I eat enough will be the best for me. If I get extreme hunger I don't have to count, but I will try to have some control so i don't eat what ever and extreme amounts. I have read about peoples experiences with extreme hunger today. Two said that the extreme hunger disappeared after a few weeks because the body understood it got enough food every day. I find that reasonable. I mean, it's ok and understandable that the body are telling me it is very hungry, but as long as I feed it food for healing purposes it is not restricting when I don't give into it and let my body take over completely. I don't say there is wrong eating according to the extreme hunger, but I think maybe it is okey not to do it as well as long as I give the body above minimum amounts.

I will get more money when a guy moves into the apartment in june, july or august. This person can be a challange for me, and that's ok. This recovery will test our friendship because he likes me skinnier the better and have to watch me eat a lot and be huge. It will certainly be interesting to see if he can be supportive or not.Perhaps he wants to move out or never move in, ha ha. At first I thought I needed to be sure he could support me before I could take the jump into full recovery, but as my motivation increased I don't feel I need his approval. This is my thing, if he likes it or not. I can handle a rejection if it's based on such a superficial thing as body size. 

Planning for extreme hunger and more eating in general on low carb.

I wonder if it is possible to be extremely hungry and be satisfied with low carb food only, without getting too much protein. I have to think and plan how to get enough fat without "drinking oil" to get the calories needed. I guess I have to make a lot of -sauces with butter, coconut milk, cream or tahini.
-Always add avocado.
-Eat fat fish.
-The fattest cheece.
-peanuts, walnuts, hazelnuts, almonds and macademia (macademia is almost only fat).
-Make pizza bottoms with cream, cheece, (almond flour perhaps) and eggs.
-Make buns with butter, eggs, sweetener, vanilla, cottage cheese and almond flour.
-Make ice cream with cream, erytrithol and eggs.
-Eat stevia chocolate.
-Drink cocoa with whole milk or soy milk.
- Eat fat lamb meat.
-Eat nut butters.
-Chicken-turkey sausages.
-Make chocolate cake with eggs, butter, sweetener and cocoa powder only.
-Lung mash.

Extreme hunger in recovery is not binge eating disorder.

It's really important that the extreme hunger is recognized as a result of starving and accept it, and not interpret it as a if you have switched to a binge eating disorder, because if you think you have got a binge eating disorder you may start restricting, purging or strain yourself in exercise and then what may happen is that you overshoot your set point weight way more than you would if you didn't. I just read about a girl this happened to, and I have experienced it myself as well. It happened because we hadn't heard about the things written at youreatopia. We didn't know what to expect in recovery and misunderstood. When we think about those who end up as obese after recovering from anorexia or bulimia, this is probably what happened to them. To solve this and get to the set point weight they must eat the minimum calories (meaning enough) and eat more if they are hungry and not restrict at all so the body has the energy to do the last part of the healing process. Then they will stop eating more than minimum when the body has got what it needs to do it and the weight will fall to set point by it self without restricting at all.

http://www.youreatopia.com/blog/2012/5/22/extreme-hunger-what-is-it.html
http://www.youreatopia.com/blog/2013/4/9/extreme-hunger-profoundly-disturbing.html