Body dysmorphia

I'm doing fine. I just wanted to say I became aware of my body dysmorphia again. I think I look fat, and I told my mum that yesterday, and I was surprised that she said she couldn't see any difference, no weight gain on me since before I started eating more. I looked at my self in the mirror this morning and all I could see was fat all over and thought I had gained even more since yesterday when i ate 800 calories above minimum. But then I tried to look in a different way. Tried to see if I could look thin, as she probably looked at me, and then what I saw was completely different. I think it's important for me to be aware of my tendency to see just fat and remember to switch the way I look at my body.

Before, i had to check how my body looked in windows and mirrors all the time to confirm I still looked skinny, because I couldn't trust the way I looked at my self in the bathroom mirror when all I saw was fat. I still do it sometimes, but try not to be too obsessed about it.

I don't fear weight gain now, but I don't want it either. Just have to accept it. I guess I will think it will be harder the more I gain, of course. But I will try not to focus too much on my looks, but the positive aspects of recovery instead.