I'm here to serve, not starve.
I'm here to inspire, not despise.
I'm here to love, not being indifferent.
I'm here to unfold my truth,
not live up to an image.
It is a bit funny, yet strange, now things are opposite from before. Before if I wanted chocolate I got a bit scared and angry and said NO! Even though I never eat the ones with sugar (but erythrithol and stevia). If I rarely did take a bite because there was space for it in my calori-calculation I ate a small piece and threw the paper in the bin immediately and washed my fingers while I felt my heart beat faster. Now I happily eat as much as I want of it with no bad feelings around it and leave the paper on the table. Just seeing the paper there gives me assosiations to redundancy, that I now like and feel comfortable and safe with, in contrast to before.
At this time I am very tired after a flu or cold, but I enjoy the fact that I don't have to feel bad for not being active walking or doing yoga or anything. Before I would force my body to walk an hour at least no matter how tired I felt. It is so liberating to not going on the scale, not worrying about gaining weight, not worrying that I could hurt my body, not worrying that i am too lazy or sleeping too much, not worrying about what people might think and say. I am owning my body and I stand up for what I do 100%.
I have read here and there and found that i should not worry about eating more than 2000. I am looking forward to stop weighing my food and counting calories. But i will wait a bit more even though I read a girl writning she wish she stopped doing that as soon as she started to try to gain. Perhaps I try eating intuitively with no counting sooner than I had planned. I feel I eat intuitive already, but find it safe to check the amount anyway.
I have both read and experienced that strength traing at this moment is doing more harm than good. I must wait till I get more muscles to work with. It is the inner organs that first needs musclemass, I think. I think about that and feel a bit bad for hurting my body and am eager to repare it fast. I am focusing on my happiness for being alive and getting better. I do not focus on gaing fat as if that is a bad thing. I need the fat to produce hormones and to protect my organs.
I'm here to inspire, not despise.
I'm here to love, not being indifferent.
I'm here to unfold my truth,
not live up to an image.
It is a bit funny, yet strange, now things are opposite from before. Before if I wanted chocolate I got a bit scared and angry and said NO! Even though I never eat the ones with sugar (but erythrithol and stevia). If I rarely did take a bite because there was space for it in my calori-calculation I ate a small piece and threw the paper in the bin immediately and washed my fingers while I felt my heart beat faster. Now I happily eat as much as I want of it with no bad feelings around it and leave the paper on the table. Just seeing the paper there gives me assosiations to redundancy, that I now like and feel comfortable and safe with, in contrast to before.
At this time I am very tired after a flu or cold, but I enjoy the fact that I don't have to feel bad for not being active walking or doing yoga or anything. Before I would force my body to walk an hour at least no matter how tired I felt. It is so liberating to not going on the scale, not worrying about gaining weight, not worrying that I could hurt my body, not worrying that i am too lazy or sleeping too much, not worrying about what people might think and say. I am owning my body and I stand up for what I do 100%.
I have read here and there and found that i should not worry about eating more than 2000. I am looking forward to stop weighing my food and counting calories. But i will wait a bit more even though I read a girl writning she wish she stopped doing that as soon as she started to try to gain. Perhaps I try eating intuitively with no counting sooner than I had planned. I feel I eat intuitive already, but find it safe to check the amount anyway.
I have both read and experienced that strength traing at this moment is doing more harm than good. I must wait till I get more muscles to work with. It is the inner organs that first needs musclemass, I think. I think about that and feel a bit bad for hurting my body and am eager to repare it fast. I am focusing on my happiness for being alive and getting better. I do not focus on gaing fat as if that is a bad thing. I need the fat to produce hormones and to protect my organs.
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