Eat more, but still low carb.

My goal is to eat more than then minimum amount for recovery (for my age: 2500) when my body want me to, cause I am not gaining fast at all. That means not skipping the last meal at the end of the day like I am sooo used to. Before my first diet at 16 my weight was 70 kilos, 27 kilos more than my lowest weight. I had eaten too much, junk and sweets, so I was above my set point. The 2nd time I ate unrestricted amounts and food choices for a long time, after long periods of almost no food, I overshot that weight! Probabably because I ate junk. 

The first time i overshot my startweight with 4 kilos, before I felt ready to stop "eating sugar" and rest and have a life again (as if I was releasing my self from a hospital). But I started restricting again for months without being aware of it while trying to eat very healthy and normal amounts, and ended up binging daily again and gained so much I ended up even 5 kilos more than last time. Why don't Gwen warn the girls at eatopia that if they addictive food they will gain too much?

For almost 2 years after that i restricted and came down to 54 kilos. Again I tried to recover and eat without counting calories, fear fat etc and gained again, but not as much as the first time when I recovered unwillingly and lived on junk. This second time I tried to learn to cook and had people over for dinner and stuff. I don't remember weighing myself so I can only guess my weight. I can say 60 kilos. I then moved to a school I got all my meals at and gained because the food was very far from low carb and full of oil, and I drank a lot of tea with honey, so I gained a few kilos. After a while I felt uncomfortable with the bigger body and started restricting again for real when the school year was over. I did so till the recovery I am in now.

I have no idea where I will end up because I did not eat normally from the age 12 when I was skinny. It is normal to overshoot 10% of the set point weight and by the following year get rid of it, but I know that those who don't break the addiction to food (chocolate, chips etc) can gain and gain like every anorectic person fear.

Right before I started eating sweets daily, because I started restricting food a little because I was ashamed that I ate more than the skinnier girls (3 slices of bread compared to their 1 slice) (but ended of course up heavier because of the sugar) my weight was perhaps 65 kilos. If I end up on 65 kilos I am happy. I mean, I am 42 years old, and some day I have to accept my body and give my self freedom and a life. I will not touch sugar and eat low carb, so there is a chance my set point weight is below 65 kilos.

I am totally into eatopia, but I have not seen Gwen say an overshot is based on binging on sugar-loaded junk. It is just my guess based on a little experience. I think sugar make us gain over the set point weight. My experience is that the body don't have the time to regulate the weight when you start to eat a lot of sugar. Then I just gained. You don't feel full when you eat sweets. If you replace that with food, you just eat and eat and just gain and gain. Never replace food with sweets and junk like potatoe chips! I am excited to see if my theory is a fact.

Now i don't have the same fear and rejection to fat bodies. I know that those who are slightly overweight or almost overweight live the longest. It is a myth in society that thin is the same as healthy and that eating a bit too little will make your life longer. A body is beautiful no matter how much fat it has on the muscles as long as she is healthy, I think. Attitude is more important.

EDIT: After reading the articles I have linked to in the next blog post I can guess my weight will be close to 63 kilos. Why do i say that suddenly? Because now i read that my theory is correct: when eating junk and sweets in recovery or at set point weight you will gain above set point because you eat more than your body needs. Simple as that.