Brevveksling mellom meg og en som har blitt frisk.

Jeg har skrevet litt frem og tilbake med ei jente som har blitt frisk fra anoreksi. Her er noe av det vi skrev.

Me: Hi. You are so sweet to me so I want to ask a question now after reading your story. I wonder how many months you had to rest before you could start running again. It says it takes 1,5 years to recover, but I can't find anything about when to start exercising again. Hope you are fine. Have a nice evening. Davida


Her: Well, the official MM answer is "never," that is, never undertake physical activity expressly for the purpose of affecting your weight or shape--but as far as recreational activity goes, it's safe to resume once you have had three consecutive regular periods and your weight is stable (preferably at BMI >20).

Personally, I started biking and weight lifting again after two months of recovery, a month of complete sedentariness--once I got my first period and my energy came back and I was tired of not being able to move around. I think you have to listen to your body, and be very wary of ED habits slipping back in--some people find that they just have to avoid exercise like an alcoholic would avoid alcohol, that for them there's no such thing as "just one drink" without it becoming excessive and compulsive.

Feel free to ask me any additional questions!

Me: Thank you so much. I appreciate that you share your personal experience. I am happy to hear you followed your body. I will do the same. Have a nice spring!! Take care! 

Her: I have noticed that you seem very anxious in your posts to avoid any "extra" fat gain. Try not to worry about it or avoid it. You need to gain some fat, and if you gain "too much," you will lose it naturally once you recover and aren't as hungry all the time and are moving around a bit more. I gained 35-40 lb in a few months, but eventually I lost 15-20 of that (and also built muscle, so increased my muscle-to-fat ratio).

But first you really need to allow yourself to eat, rest, and fully heal. Don't worry right now about gaining.

Happy spring to you, too.

Me: When I started eating more I did it because I was afraid someone soon would call the doctor and get me to a hospital for months. I did not think about being recovered to set point weight. Reading at the forum scared me. I am ok with gaining some kilo, so i don't get really ill, but I am not ready to be recovered totally yet. I am afraid my set point weight is higher than I can tolerate. I got really scared thinking about having a big body. Hopefully I will handle it later, when I am 50 or something, but i think gaining 15 ibs is as much as I can handle now. That will be a BMI at 17,4.

I am glad I was able to turn around from the darkness I was sucked into, though, cause that is harder to do the longer down in weight and darkness I come. You have done great. That is fantastic. I may change my mind, though. Perhaps I get stronger and can handle  my body when I gain some fat into my brain:) I hope I do, of course. I almost announced to all my facebook friends what i was about to do yesterday, so they should not be shocked if they saw me larger suddenly. My mom says everyone know i have anorexia already because it is visible, so I don't need to make sure on facebook that everyone know that I gain because of anorexia, and not because I have been addicted to chocolate or started using pills for the nerves or something:) But i am not so sure. I have been hiding well in thick, big clothes. It is so vain to think it matters what others think, but as long as I am not comfortable in a big body it is hard to think others are fine with it.

I am not able to picture my self without counting every gram of food I eat so why should I go the whole way to set point weight, i question my self. I have restricted and exercised when my body needed to rest since i was 16. I think it will take time to repair. (When I am afraid and ED talks I think there is nothing to repair:) I thought all my ED thoughts was gone, but they have come back. Just because I fear some fat under my skin, I guess.

Her:

I assume you realize that BMI 17.4 is still underweight. If you want to get your period, to be able someday to have children, not to get osteoporosis, you will almost certainly need to gain more weight than that. BUT that does not mean that you have to become "big." (Maybe right now you think that anything more than that is "big," but that is a very distorted, ED point of view. I am BMI 20 now and really happy with my body, which is no way fat--I am slender and muscular--my family says I don't look much different than I did when I was BMI 17.5, just healthier).

I have my doubts about "set point theory"--I know YE presents it as if it's an established fact, but there's a lot of debate about it. Personally I think that most people, if they ate reasonably well and did regular physical activity, could be fairly slender and fit--in the "healthy weight" range. (I don't say these things on YE because I don't want to upset anyone, and you should also read and stick to the forum guidelines.) So I don't think that you have to worry about your set point being very high. 

I do recommend that you try just allowing yourself to eat whatever and however much you want for a time. Yes, you will eat a lot sometimes, and you will gain weight, and that will be scary--but I promise you that your hunger will diminish, your weight gain will stop, your bloating will subside and your weight will redistribute, and in the meantime you will know what it's like not to count every calorie, which would be very liberating.

You can look great at a healthy weight, it just takes a little time. Also since you're young, you still have some development of your feminine body, which ought to mean having some curves! 

I hope that you can come to realize that you need real recovery, not just getting to a point where you aren't on death's door.

Me:

I had a hope you would say something like that:) I agree with you about the set- point weight. I can't imagine I will be very huge if I eat low carb and not binge like crazy on sugary "food" like many other on the forum have done, with the result: become overweight. Do you agree? 

If i should help people with ED I would not say: just eat what you want, but said: eat when you are hungry and eat till your body is satisfied. I would make sure they got real bloodsugar-balancing food, not cakes, candy and ice cream all day. Then they did not have to eat like a beast and feel guilty afterwards. An ED person will suffer unnecessary if she is guided into overweight.

I thought it would take longer time to gain weight. Did not know about the edema. In my case it may take longer time to gain fat and muscles because i don't eat more than minimum. I prefer that and think that moderation is the best for the body too.  So I don't follow all the guidelines on the forum and will not say so much in there anymore. I have been kicked out of forums many times before because I do not follow the crowd. I understand that low carb is not according to the guidelines and will not talk too much about it.  I can't trust what people say in the forum. Their experiences are valueable but their thoughts might not be. People should not take what i write too seriously either. I think you are intelligent though. You stand out of the crowd, I think. You have calmed me down, and i appreciate that.

I have a son, he is 8 years old, eating frozen orange juice at the moment:) and don't need more kids, but of course it would be best to go for full recovery. I got more motivated now that i read your mail.  Thank you so much. You are an angel. Truly thankful. God bless you!

Her: Well, I ate plenty of sugary processed foods in early recovery and I think it was fine fuel at that time, and also there's something to be said for just 'letting go' for a while--I fully satisfied those cravings, and now, for the most part, what I genuinely want is healthy food. But you have to do what works best for you.

I definitely don't avoid carbs, though (as a runner, I think it would be insane), and I think you should consider allowing yourself to eat more carbs--especially if and when you start to be physically active again. Carbs are the body's best source of energy, and they're perfectly healthy if you get them mostly from fruits and not too highly processed grains. At any rate, I don't think you have to be afraid that carbs per se will make you gain any more weight than protein or fat.

Good luck with your recovery!

All best,

Me:  Thank you. ( Jeg sa bare det fordi jeg ville ikke diskutere lavkarbo).