at my fathers place

Just remembered

When I tried to live with my father at the age of 18, and my father talked to me for the first time about that I ate very little, he said with a scornful tone that he knew about a girl with bulimia. I said I wanted to get in contact with her (did not know others with ED) and he said: "no, because then you will get even worse!" ( what would be worse than eating 200 calories a day? Ahaa! He feared bulimia!) I got mad for his stupidity and controlling behaviour so I binged and purged so he could hear it. I knew it would irritate him  and it made me happy I could show him who was in charge.

I did not stay more than 3 months. I left before I had no energy left to move to another place. Cause my weight loss did not make him love me. There was nothing i could do to make him love me.