14. juli 2016

Matts notes from the book: Ancel Keys and the biology of human starvation (The Minnesota experiment).

p. 15

“In the individual the severity of clinical edema is not by itself a reliable guide to his nutritional state. Where the complications of malaria, dysentery, anemia, and vitamin deficiencies exist, the edema appears more readily and in more extreme form.”
p. 127
In the undernutrition experiment carried out by Benedict et al. the weight increased very rapidly on the termination of the reduced diet. Six weeks later the men not only regained all the weight lost but exceeded their pre-experimental weight by 3.1 kg.”
p. 177
“During the subsequent 8 weeks there was further increase in the body fat which brought the fat content of the body in all subjects well above the pre-starvation level. Thirty-three weeks after the end of the semi-starvation period the values for body fat showed a decrease and returned to a near normal level at 58 weeks.”
p. 256
“The evidence is overwhelming that anemia develops during prolonged periods of caloric restriction, and the degree of anemia appears to be related to the extent of starvation…The anemia… is not of the iron deficiency type.”
p. 267
“A definite leucopenia developed during semi-starvation; the leucocyte count, which was 6346 per cu. Mm. of blood in the control period, dropped to 4129 at S24, a decrease of 34.9 per cent.”
p. 338
“In the Minnesota experiment the total rate of basal metabolism at the end of semi-starvation was almost 40 per cent less than in the control period.”
p. 518
“The behavior of calcium is more difficult to interpret since it tends to be excreted throughout a starvation period at a rate which may be of the order of 10 times that calculated on the basis of the body tissue lost.”
p. 545
“To test this, he reduced his own food intake by one half for 5 days and then for an additional 3 days went completely without food. The increase in his blood sugar level following glucose was much greater after the starvation period than before. Sevringhaus observed the same thing after 2 days of starvation.”
p. 578
“Along with the increased water consumption, starving persons tend to have a marked salt hunger and will consume several times the normal quota of salt if it is available.”
p. 581
“…the starving man is weak and cold, both physiologically and subjectively, and his behavior bears this out. On the other hand, his behavior is often misleading. He acts dull and insensitive; he looks and behaves as though he were unaware of or incapable of feeling many of the ordinary stimuli of sound, sight, or touch.”
p. 607
“In any list of the cardinal signs and symptoms of severe undernutrition there will be several items which pertain directly or indirectly to the heart and circulation. These include bradycardia, hypotension, a lowering of the skin temperature, and frequently vertigo and slight cyanosis.”
“Rates as low as 30 to 40 beats per minute were often observed in bed rest…”
p. 612
 Leyton found the average 4 p.m. temperature in 100 men to be 35.7 C (96.3F). 
p. 613
“In 40 persons who received subcutaneous injections of 1 mg. of adrenalin there was extraordinarily little response to the drug.”
p. 621
“Obviously, many factors may have been involved in this epidemic of hypertension in Leningrad, but the outstanding peculiarity of the period was severe semi-starvation for 6 months, followed by refeeding, with the necessity for hard work at all times.”
p. 659
“The decrease of the QRS and T wave amplitudes is probably the most remarkable change in the electrocardiogram in starvation. It may be due to the following factors:
1) Decrease of heart size. The decrease of the amplitudes was accompanied by a very marked decrease of the heart size as determined by teleroentgenograms…
2) Myocardial degeneration…
3) Rotation of the heart around a transversal axis…
4) Decreased metabolic rate…
5) Fluid accumulation in chest or pericardium…”
p. 664
“Polyuria and nocturia have been reported by practically every observer of starvation conditions.”
p. 753
“Jaworski found no changes in the vagina in starved Polish women but concluded there was considerable reduction in the size of the ovaries.”
p. 777
“The official daily ration in the Auschwitz concentration camp was one liter of watery soup, 250 gm. of bread, and about 25 gm. of margarine or sausage or imitation honey, providing an estimated maximum intake of 1000 cal. per day.”
p. 827-828
“The subjects reported that their nails grew more slowly and that their hair was falling out in large amounts. Shaving was necessary less frequently. The men noted, particularly in shaving, that cuts and wounds bled less than normally and were slower to heal. Physical ability to laugh heartily, sneeze, or blush was reduced or absent during the later stages of semi-starvation. Muscle cramps and particularly muscle soreness were frequently reported. The jarring of knee joints, especially when walking on hard pavements, was an annoyance to some. Pigmentation, thinning, and roughening of the skin occurred. Changes in the sensitivity of the skin, paresthetic and hypesthetic in character, were observed in only three cases, but there were many complaints that the extremities ‘went to sleep.’
Tolerance to heat was increased; for example, subjects could hold hot plates without discomfort. They asked that their food, coffee, and tea be served unusually hot.  Standard measurements of hearing showed a slight but consistent increase in auditory acuity during the period of semi-starvation. . Sensations of ringing in the head were reported. 
During rehabilitation the recovery from dizziness, apathy, and lethargy was most rapid. Tiredness, loss of sex drive, and weakness were slow to improve. Although visible edema tended to disappear, in some men there was little change or even an increase in edema. Cramps, vague aches and pains, and paresthesias were unrelieved from some time. Some of the men had new complaints such as flatus, distention, belching, and stomach-ache. Those subjects who gained the most weight became concerned about their increasing sluggishness, general flabbiness, and the tendency of fat to accumulate in the abdomen and buttocks. At the end of 3 months of rehabilitation, even in those subjects who were maintained on the highest caloric intake the over-all physical condition was considerably inferior to the pre-starvation status.Later reports from the subjects indicated that it was not until after an additional 3 months of ‘normal’ living and supernormal eating that their physical capacity approached pre-experimental levels.”
p. 836-837
Their earlier active interest in having a voice in the making of policies and rules for the conduct of the non-scientific aspects of the experiment dwindled. They spent more and more time alone.”
p. 846
“During… (R13), of 17 men who made a reference to food cravings, 7 had no specific cravings. The remaining 10 men had a predilection, in about equal proportion, for sweets (ice cream and pastries) and dairy products.”
p. 1003
“There is reason to believe that the epithelial lining of the gastrointestinal tract becomes more permeable to microorganisms in severe undernutrition. The morphological changes in the intestinal tract would strongly suggest this.”
p. 1041
“There is a fundamental connection between obesity and diabetes. Kisch found that 50 per cent of all the obese persons he examined exhibited some degree of glycosuria.”

10. juli 2016

No longer proud.

To be skinny was my protection. It was my focus point when I was self aware, my "self". I felt safe because my identity was the skinnyness noone would criticize. Now that identity is gone. I feel vulnerable going out facing people. Should I be proud of something else now, then? No. I have always hated pride. I will focus on goodness. Not a mask for the world theatre, but the true self behind the fear of having nothing to be proud about.

Don't hold it in


Zechariah 13:9
And I will put this third into the fire, and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name, and I will answer them. I will say, ‘They are my people’; and they will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’”


Obsessed about counting calories?

I am. I don't have any excuse doing it anymore. I know I eat far more than minimum. But I like to know, you know? I will stop when I am healed, though. I will. Today I had a mini breakthrough. I have weighed my food and written the weight in my little book as usual, but I have not checked how many calories I have eaten. I will write in the amounts of food at diet.no when I have finished eating for today. Then I'll see how much I have eaten. The best thing with this is that I don't stop eating by a number of calories, I have to listen to my body. This way I will get used to that and get used to not knowing how much I have eaten. It's awesome! I will certainly continue doing this!

I counted it now. It was very similar to what i normally eat. I will not bother putting it in at diett.no every day. Just rarely. I will measure and write what I eat in my book, though. Why? In case I want to check later? No, I have no idea why. Let me think about it.

9. juli 2016

Pictures before, during and after (not me)

It is not easy to find pictures of people in the beginning and middle of their recovery when the water weight makes the body look strange and the fat is not yet evened out. I found an article with pictures that show a girl before, in the middle and after. If you look closely at the "in the middle picture" where she is standing inside looking depressed you can see the curves are very different from the curves on the body on the beach. I find it reassuring to see this because how I look now I know is not how I will look later, and to see this makes me sure of it.http://blog.asiantown.net/-/42026/girl-makes-amazing-recovery-to-anorexia-after-doctors-told-that-she-only-had-a-few-days-left-to-live-pics

2. juli 2016

Insomnia

Yes, enough sleep is super important. I sleep in the day time up to three times to get enough. Like with other body signals, like hunger and the need to go to the toilet, I think it is important to react fast. Go to sleep when tired. Not wait till the tiredness change into a blurry state of mind just because it is more tempting to be awake. I need to know it is very quiet. Some times I use ear plugs. The temperature is also of importance. Fresh air, darkness and no stressfull thoughts is helpful. It is not a good idea to postpone problemsolving and planning till bedtime. Then the emotions that follows thoughts will keep us awake. My mother is doing exactly that and find theanine helpful to make her not think so much and eagerly.

Many suggest meditation for insomnia. That is because you get aware of what is on your mind so you can go though it and get a clear mind in the end. A clear mind will give a relaxed body.

Sometimes we may be tense because of build up emotions. Then yoga is pefect for releasing them. It is important, though, to be in a safe place physically and mentally so you can allow your self to express the emotions, or you may just get scared of feeling there is some turmoil inside and never actually feel what it is.

I learned from home that crying for my own part was the same as self pity. That is uncorrect, of course. It was when I cried once when my mum came into my room when I was a teenager. She said that self pity thing then with contempt. Noone ever cared about how I felt as a child or teenager so I had no choice but to keep it all inside. And as I kept sadness and anger inside the happiness was swallowed with it. I just felt emotions as turmoil and could get very scared of the power of them and not knowing what it was. To starve starved my emotions. I could also purge to release tention in my solar plexus. I hadn't learned how to handle emotions. At my childhood home they were hidden under carpets and behind walls.

I couldn't get myself to express sadness untill I found supportive love when I was 21. I could cry then, but not totally let go before I found Gods love. The greatest love surrounds us with support , you can almost feel the pink energycusion everywhere. It is possible to go beyond ourselves, then, let our heads go.

Yes, I forgot to mention that I find it easier to sleep after a meal than at night time when I haven't eaten for hours. I usually get tired 30 minutes or so after a meal if I haven't slept enough during the night or earlier in the day, and love to sleep then. If you know you can't sleep because you don't eat enough there is no point in looking for other sources. I did that for years, tried to find something to give me energy even though I knew back in my mind the only thing that could truly help was more food and rest. Waste of time and money. I would do almost anything just to avoid getting bigger, but now I experience that to be big is only awful under the influence of ED. Being thin is also awful under the influence of ED. Without it = freedom no matter what weight.

My self discovering journey in short


When I was a teenager I didn't feel I belonged in any of the groups of people I knew about. In one group the focus was all laughs and fun, but doing very boring things. The other was destructive, talking negatively and using drugs. There was no exploring! I went on my own instead and into the world of anorexia. I missed love. I missed my father and a close relationship to my mother and/or anyone, really. I missed that someone with love would attract something within me so I could see what was there.

After being on my own for 5 years I met an older guy who had love and I had to make him fall in love with me. He did. He was caring and his love connected me to the greatest love within me, Gods love. Then I didn't need him anymore. He felt rejected and found someone else. Then, with the connection to God, I found out who I was, slowly and steadily. God didn't judge, so I was free to feel, think, express and want what ever. His tolerance became my tolerance. I was no longer ashamed of my emotions and needs. Those emotions and needs made me aware of who I was.

I got interested in all religions, philosophy, spiritual development and art as a way to express my self as I got to know myself. I started painting, and ended up writing. That has been my thing for many years now.

I think we are divine. I think when connected to God we get to know our selves, our lower self, the unpermanent that only is made for this world, as well as the everlasting self that is close to and a reflection of God. It is not strange that I felt unfullfilled and lost when I had no connection to God who could make me see what great potensial I had inside me. People in comparison have a tendency to narrow others down because we live in a competative and materialistic society. No wonder we want out, or in, to find our own ground.