My plan for the upcoming weeks.

Well. I do not have the guts to go for full recovery, eating without restricting and aim for reaching my set point weight, but I'm going to do something. So, I have this plan to at least feel a bit better and be a bit healthier.

This week: 1470 calories, No exercise, no weight gain.
Week 20: 1520 calories, daily walk: 25 min.
Week 21: 1570 calories, daily walk: 30 min.+ yoga 1 pr week.
Week 22: 1610 calories, daily walk: 30 min.+ yoga 2 pr week or 1 yoga + 25 extra min. walk 1 weekly.
Week 23: 1630 calories, daily walk: 30 min.+ yoga 2 pr week or 1 yoga + 25 extra min. walk 1 weekly.
Week 24: Same as above.
Week 25: Same as above.
Week 26: 1670 calories, daily walk: 30 min.+yoga 2 pr week + 25 extra min. walk 2 weekly.

if I stay on 1630, gaining weight, it's ok. I can weigh 53. I can live with that as long as I don't get edema and have energy for some movement. By increasing slowly I hope to prevent edema. Edema means healing, so I don't let my body heal with this method, so I
don't recommend it to anyone who has been starving, but I'm not tough enough to gain a bunch of weight because my set point is so high and I am not ready for a body that big on this stage in my life. I think I would feel more misery in a big body than with the little energy and the head aches that I have got know. I can always change my mind later.

If I don't gain weight after 2 weeks on 1630 I can go up to 1670 calories a day and see what happens. I can't imagine not gaining, but stranger things has happened. I'm not sure if I will have extra energy for the walks and yoga I want I to do, though. If I don't I will perhaps gain. I will have to see how the plan is working and adjust somehow i don't know yet.

I've decided. I'm going to do it!

My motivation is bigger today and I've written a letter to the one I need support from the most about what I'm going to do. He is the most critical I know, a person who just like thin girls/women and likes my body the skinnier the better. I need hin to not be ashamed or repulsed by my soon big body. I will do it if he can't support me too. I am the one who must embrace the bigger body. I honestly think I can do it now. I'm happy and my body is more than ready to get on with it. It just want to eat, rest and sleep a lot. Suits me fine. I'm on it's side now. I will put my wishes aside for a year or two so we can be friends from now till the end. I'm up to at least 1470 calories a day this week. My weight today: 47,6 kilos. The swelling has not begun yet. It will come when I up my calories to 2000 or so, perhaps. I'm so exited. I'm so glad I prefer bigger over skinny now. Helps tremendously. I could never imagine I would change my taste about that before. Lucky me! It is certainly true that you can manage what ever you put all in to achieve.