When should I stop counting calories in recovery?

There is not much point in counting calories for several reasons. One of them is that the calories listed is the amount of calories trapped in the food and not the amount the body will absorb from the food. I kind of knew this, but I thought the difference was insignificant, which it is not. At least not when it is whole foods. It also requires energy to digest the food and that energy amount varies from item to item. Nuts, brown rice and meat requires more energy to digest than processed and refined foods. This is what I found:

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/science-reveals-why-calorie-counts-are-all-wrong/

When people eat almonds, they receive just 129 calories per serving rather than the 170 calories reported on the label. People snacking on whole wheat obtained 10 percent fewer calories than those eating white bread. Proteins may require as much as five times more energy to digest as fats. Processed foods are so easily digested in the stomach and intestines that they give us a lot of energy for very little work. In contrast, veggies, nuts and whole grains make us sweat for our calories, generally offer far more vitamins and nutrients than processed items, and keep our gut bacteria happy.

https://www.discovermagazine.com/health/are-the-calorie-counts-on-food-labels-accurate 

The calories listed on labels come straight from the manufacturers — and are regulated by the FDA. But the agency allows for a 20 percent margin of error. Because of this, the caloric content is often higher than labeled, yet still within FDA limits. A 2013 study on the food label accuracy of snack foods found that their average caloric content was more than 4 percent higher than the calories listed. The researchers suggest this was because the foods contained more carbohydrates than listed.

In recovery we should stop counting when we have experienced that we eat enough if we follow our mental and physical hunger. I know this, but I am still too scared. I had a realization today though that may help me to stop: 

To stop counting is the hardest part of recovery and it is the only thing I have left to challenge. First I told myself it is ok to continue counting in recovery to make sure I eat enough, but truth is I was afraid of eating too much. I just realized this: To be afraid of eating too much is pointless now that I don't want to restrict anymore! I don't want to deprive my body anymore. I have counted calories because I wanted to make sure I did not eat more than needed because I want to be as thin as possible without starving or eating too much. It just means I still don't trust my body. I use counting to double check I eat as I should. If I could only trust that only my body knows the amount I should eat. Not my mind. I do though. I do trust the body knows. I am afraid it will make me eat more so that I gain more than necessary. Again not trusting the body, or rather not honoring the body! Yes, that is it! I still don't honor what my body needs enough. What I realized is that to get over this fear I must stop wanting to be as thin as possible. I should rather want to feed my body enough to get healthy and happy.