"But how will I accept that the ED even happened" you ask.

By getting over the fear of weight gain and in the process of recovering we find out who we are. To recover from an ED is the journey to get to know yourself. While you were full of fear and acted accordingly you were a product of your environment. By recovery you free yourself from the collective and become a unique strong individual. By recovery you can also help the collective to improve just like you do, step by step, by sharing what you understand along the way. 

Do not fear who you will become when you no longer have an ED identity. You will not put on something new, but unmask who you always were. Remember the child you were? You have no age. You are innocent and forever pure. You are the one that loves the divine, the playful, the creative. You stand within God and share His mind who created you. All He is you are too, because there is no separation. You are not the thin one, the girl with an ED. You are Gods child. The precious one. The loving one. You are a star shining together with alle the other stars in the same sky. We all shine on each others. 

To recover is to remove the veils so you can shine again. The veils that says you are unworthy, that you are unloved (unless you are a certain way). The veils are so untrue they disappear as soon as you stop believing them. God is just there and honour your needs and take care of them. He knows them already. All you need to do is to be aware of what your need and look so you see them when they appear. Then share.