"But how will I accept that the ED even happened" you ask.

By getting over the fear of weight gain and in the process of recovering we find out who we are. To recover from an ED is your journey to get to know yourself. While you were just full of fear and acted accordingly you were a product of your environment. By recovery you free yourself from the collective and become a unique strong individual. By recovery you can also help the collective to improve just like you do, step by step, by sharing what you have understood. The ED was a trap like any other (addiction or mental disorders) everyone else also falls into before they climb up to the light.