Can you not stop weighing yourself?

I stopped because it is pointless to follow the water fluctuations and what comes in and out of the intestines, you know? I no longer have a desire to lose weight if it happens because of restriction because muscles always comes with fat loss when it happens like that and I view that as unhealthy and therefor undesirable. Restriction also reduce the metabolism I want to be high. I see no point in restriction anymore. It can not last and will show me in a manipulated version only. So if I am loved then the question will always be: Will I be loved if I was natural?

I thought not eating enough and be thin was going to prevent me from harm and rejection, but that is magic thinking. Thin people are not spared by pigs, assholes and selfish people. Thin people also lose control, mess up and get rejected. Thin people can also be met with contempt and judgement. To restrict is like holding a straw as a weapon and a skeleton for comfort. It is asking others to take care of something you are suppose to do yourself, but just never learned how to in a good way. What needs to be done is to learn that instead of looking like a beggar of maternal love, because no one will ever take responsibility for your well being like you can. You must find love the way you need it so you get support for the love you have in yourself.