We have to tell people how we feel in words, not body language, because some people don't understand metaphors.

But also show our gratitude for being wanted in this world, by eating every day.

How do I know what is the ED voice and what is me?

I think we share many thoughts with people who do not have an eating disorder, that are superficial and destructive/mean. The thoughts themselves is not a proof someone is having an eating disorder. Everyone has some kind of demon on their shoulder telling them things according to that particular persons goal to help them reach it. If you want to get skinny the angel on the other side will never tell you to eat less than the body needs, will never tell you to not relax when that is what you need, will not deny you a snack between meals or to sleep as much us you need on a sunday. All those limitations are spoken by the ED-voice.

The bodys needs and your interests may be in conflict with the goal of becoming skinny. So when you fear that one of these these needs or interests may threaten your goal of being thin, you may get thoughts that are trying to convince you to not eat enough, sleep enough etc. As long as to be thin is your goal the destructive voice will be there. Because it is your goal that is bad, the voice is only there trying to serve you.

If you live in fear of gaining weight you will have destructive thoughts. If you live in love you will have good thoughts. You are in charge. None of the thoughts are you. You are the one choosing what you want to agree to.

Replace the thoughts

Always replace the stupid thoughts with smart ones, the unhealthy with the healthy and the hateful with the loving. We did not learn to think the right thoughts from our culture, so we must teach ourselves and replace what we learned with something we find better.

Stand up for our actions

I have had anorexia for so long I feel bad thinking it may be a whole lot of things i have said and done that may have been harmful to others. If we know about some obvious things we could talk to those affected by it, say sorry and explain. We are not less responsible for our actions just because we have a disorder and hopefully people don't think that either and avoid confronting us about our behaviour. Remember: If someone feel a grudge towards you they are the ones responsible to tell you. I know for sure if someone tell me I have hurt them in any way I would be happy to say I am sorry and explain myself so they could understand and forgive.

What is the ED voice?

The ED voice wants the body to die, so it does not like it when we want to relax the body, when we want to sleep and eat enough or just enjoy ourselves. It criticise us to make sure we limit this. The ED voice is the voice of death and destruction. When we want something unnatural like losing weight in an unhealthy weight, we don't get help from divine forces, but evil ones. As soon as we want to be natural, healthy and good to ourselves, the voice and forces disappear as we no longer want to listen to it. It is all up to us what we want. Do we want to treat our body good or bad?

Cool recovery comments I have found online

I have a friend who is a dietician. In her facility, she has a device that determines your metabolic rate by analyzing your breath for 10 - 20 minutes. (You breath into a tube through your mouth with a clip on your nose.) I decided it might be interesting to do a "before and after," so I asked her if I could use the machine.
Anyway, I took a measurement the day before I started eating a minimum of 2700 calories a day. (I'm a 5'9 28-year-old female.) The result was that my resting metabolic rate was about 1350 calories, meaning that, with activities of daily living and no deliberate exercise, I would maintain my weight on about 1800 calories a day. This is obviously far less than the Minnie Maud recommendations.
But that's not the whole story. I retested myself today - I've been eating at least 2700 calories (usually more) a day for about a month. I knew there would be a difference - my body temperature has gone up three degrees and I soak my sheets with sweat at night - but I was shocked by how big it was. My resting metabolic rate was about 2100 calories, meaning that (again, with just normal daily activities), I have to eat about 2700 calories to maintain my weight.
Hmm...2700 calories. Does anyone recognize that number? Oh, right, it's EXACTLY the number that the Minnie Maud guidelines predicted. :-)

Malnutrition distorts body image and perception, I believe the Minnesota Starvation Experiment showed that ED thoughts are really to a large extent a product of starvation, rather than the cause. At the beginning i would only put myself down for eating 'naughty foods', but by the end i would be feeling extreme feelings of guilt and shame for eating something like a banana.

Genetics creates the blue print
Familial/childhood environment fashions the gun
(At some point) a chronic or acute stressor pulls the trigge.

My new mantra became "I release the need to be thin so that I can trust the process so that I can become Real".

Its ironic that, for me, the ED is both born from fear and dies at the hand of fear.

I do the body check thing too! Sitting, walking past mirrors, etc. Something that has kind of helped me--kind of because I'm still making a habit of it--is to pretend my body belongs to somebody else. Sounds weird, but it helps me to be more objective and less critical. If I catch myself staring at my stomach or thighs or whatever unflattering feature, I imagine myself doing the same thing to somebody else and realize what a rude thing it is I'm doing. Same with weighing and measuring; if some random person came up to me and started measuring me or weighing me for the sole purpose of tearing me apart in their mind I would be pissed, so why is it okay to do to myself?
It helps. Don't like to be rude!

To be healthy is to stop manipulating our body.

When we focus on how we appear in others eyes its hard to let go of control of our body. We may be afraid something bad will happen to us, sexual abuse, rejection, uncontrolled behaviour, emotional outbursts..., and have buildt an identity to protect us from that.

We starve our difficult emotions and the needs that are hard to fulfill. We feel we have to stand up for the body and defend it in a culture where everybody "should" look a certain way, where people try to exploit you and talk about your food choices and bodyshape.

As a healthy person we have to change our main focus from how we appear in others eyes to how our body feels, what it wants and how well it works and accept that it looks the way it does when it is fed what it needs. We must start wanting to look like the body wants to look instead of a image in our head. We must get real.

Never begin restricting again after being weight restored. I ate 2500 calories as weight restored 1,5 years ago and felt fantastic, like a kid, but I was impatient to lose weight after overshooting my set point weight so I just thought I would push the process a little bit by eating less calories without feeling too hungry. I reduced to 2000 first, then to 1700 and then to 1500. By that time I had forgot my intention was to just reduce to a number where I did not starve.

Now I must go back to where I was 1,5 years ago and eat 2500 and gain back the weight i could not accept at the time. Why should we starve our whole life? Its crazy. We deserve to feel satisfied. We dont have to live up to any idea of how to be and how to look. To be free from eating disorder we must stop manipulating our body. We must respect it, how much food, rest and activity it wants. I know its easy to say and I find it hard to accept that my body isn't as skinny naturally as i wish it could be, but I will try to love it anyway and as the time goes by I think I know I will get used to it. I will focus on enjoying the fact that it is working better and feels better to live in. For me restricting calories has also restricted my life. If I want to do something important in the future I will now have a body that is strong enough to participate.

I do no longer feel proud of how I look, but that is not a bad thing to let go of either, is it? :)