Can we chose to get well, chose to eat enough?

When we are narrowminded and destructive we don't feel we have a choice, because we feel trapped with no freedom to chose. Its when we want to get out of our prison we search outside and can find the freedom to chose. But first we have to understand we have put ourselves in a prison. When we deny we have a problem, we think we are more free than others because we are proud that we can chose not to eat, and we think others are like animals eating with no self control (no freedom).

I see anorexia as being possessed by a little devil that takes over our mind and body. We can chose to find the loving voice inside of us buried underneath all the blackness from the little anorexia devil we usually listen to and act according to. When I found the love I was surprised to see how much of me was the devil. We can choose love and freedom and refuse to listen to negative and destructive thoughts. When I started to look for the love inside it grew. The more I wanted to listen to that instead of the devil it took up more and more space and soon the devil disappeared because it did not like the light.

Its hard to chose to not be afraid. When we are afraid we get thoughts that are not worth listening to and we get so narrow minded it is hard to think outside the box. We can chose to look for people and an environment that can give us a sense of acceptance, freedom and love , though, so it is easier to let go of the negativity and take a chance on love.