Higher weight

It's can be easier to handle being at a higher weight the longer you have been in recovery because you feel better over all, your mood is so much better and you feel stronger. That is how it is for me at least. It is so nice to be able to make jokes and laugh hard again. It is strange to be spontanious again, but now I don't take myself that serious anymore, so I can live with the shame of saying stupid jokes sometimes. I think my energy has started to increase too now. I don't think so much that I am in recovery anymore. Instead I focus about getting stronger and enjoy life. Like, i eat because that is normal, not because I'm in recovery. The only reason why I could start restricting again would be my vanity, but I do not want to be a slave of vanity. Then I'm more proud of looking normal. Most people are at a BMI between 23-28 or something. Don't remember exactly. So it is not that we will look bigger than most. So, no worries. Those who make a lot of effort just to look a certain way is not someone I look up to anymore. I feel a bit ashamed I have been such a person all my life. I will focus on important things instead. Not appearance. I will eat and move because it is natural and enjoyable.